i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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