hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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