i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
