Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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