If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
two words...techno handjob
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
