yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
