thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
