i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
