i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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