You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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