Duck Duck Cougar?
i barfeds in our rink
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
