i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
