How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
