3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
