I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
