I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
