i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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