someone get that fucking seahorse.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We are all done wearing pants today
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
