I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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