I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
