Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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