I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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