sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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