if i can run in heels then i can drive
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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