yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
