Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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