How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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