I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
