He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
