franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
