even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
