a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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