giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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