We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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