Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
