I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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