We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
