these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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