he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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