Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
