My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
