i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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