So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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