I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
