No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
