Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
