Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
