oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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