I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
being pregnant is like rehab
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
