Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We don't watch enough power rangers
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
