We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
