Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
