Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She announced her abortion via fbk
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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