I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
