So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
